just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just blew my weed a kiss
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
