does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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