HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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