what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
