Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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