i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
