forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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