She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
