i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
