Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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