You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
