I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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