Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
