the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
