I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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