me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Randomize
