In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
