i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
