I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
birth control should be required to get into college
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
