K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
did you just send me my own nude
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I think I just sharted jello shots
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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