alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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