thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
