I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
