id be glad to
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
