Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
