no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
