I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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