end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
