He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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