And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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