I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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