It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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