I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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