i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
