he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
