You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
