Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This is my gift to your gina
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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