can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
