So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
