come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
