I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
