I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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