I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
