when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
