We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You have to summon your inner elephant
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
