The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
