after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
