the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
