He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
