Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
