we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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