He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
