How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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