We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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